I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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