If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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