I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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