I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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