She said her name was "party"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
