He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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