peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Still dying that you shit outside
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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