that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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