If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
