i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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