I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
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He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
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Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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