none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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