My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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