either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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