Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
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That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
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When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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