shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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