Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
