Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
