Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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