i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
