grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
