Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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