That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
