i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
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