Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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