I'm lost and stupid without you.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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