at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize