she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize