if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
