The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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