am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
