mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
