It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
