I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
