She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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