soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
