I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
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