clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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