So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
