I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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