know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We are two peas in an std pod
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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