I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
