i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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