Having a random hookup so left but love u
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
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I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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