What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
