bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I deserve this hangover.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
