I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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