Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
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Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
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Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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