Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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