she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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