if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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