My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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