its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
