i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This is the high leading the old right now
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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