What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize